Relationship Skills for Community Building

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How to Get Started

To start practicing more collaborative, less competitive, more equitable, less hierarchical ways of relating to others, I recommend …

  1. Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
    • NVC is a simple conflict resolution process—reasonably quick and easy to comprehend, challenging to put into practice. You can buy Marshall Rosenberg’s book on NVC from the publisher and/or download from them a free, one-page PDF summarizing the method’s four steps.
    • Find online and in-person workshops (some free) from certified NVC trainers on the Center for NVC site.
    • I highly recommend Heart in Communication’s free 2-hour workshop and (sliding fee scale) 8-session Foundation course.  
  2. Consent-based and/or Consensus-based Decision-making
    • Sociocracy For All provides a wealth of information, including explanation of their consent-based decision-making process, and training courses for all levels from newbies to professionals. A couple of basic courses are free and more advanced courses are modestly priced.
    • Circle Forward has some simple video resources. Their free PDF mini-book explains how their work implementing sociocracy led to tweaks in their approach, particularly in recognition that often, some of those impacted by decisions are not present at decision-making meetings.
    • On Conflict and Consensus by C. T. Butler and Amy Rothstein is available for free from the Anarchist Library.
  3. Guidance from Indigenous and Other Ethnic Minority Teachers
  4. Gatherings for Enjoyment
    • Hosting fun get-togethers, whether or not folks are gathered to do any kind of work, is also a worthwhile community-building skill. The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker offers guidance and inspiration on making gatherings of all kinds more meaningful, and therefore more deeply enjoyable.